It’s taken me a while to write this post because I’m having a hard time accepting that Charlie no longer naps. I figure if I write about it, I will truly come to accept it.
Charlie stopped napping about seven months ago and the loss of this window of quiet time has been hard for me to take. The two hour naps on the weekends were pure bliss for me; a time to regroup and do whatever I wanted (within reason) without demands for my time and attention. Catching up on guilty TV pleasures like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Catching up on reading? Playing those stupidly addictive Mind Jolt games? Catching up on cleaning in peace? Maybe even slap a mud mask on my face and not worrying about scaring the daylights out of the boy? Whatever I decided, the world was my oyster, albeit a tiny oyster, for a minimum of two hours! Saturday AND Sunday! I never really napped during Charlie’s nap because it just felt wrong for me to nap away precious alone time. I loved it! I needed it! I totally miss it.
I should have seen the signs nine months ago. The naps got a bit shorter. Just a little bit at first. Before I knew it, the naps were only lasting an hour. I told myself that these were just off days, but I knew I was wrong. I started planning my alone time early in the day. A sixty-minute itinerary of peace and quiet. I would carefully divvy up that hour into chore time and chill time and I would make sure I enjoyed every minute of it.
As time went on, I began to figure out that Charlie wasn’t even napping upstairs. I could hear him trouncing around and dropping toys. I would go upstairs and make him lay down but it was no use. Ten minutes later I could hear him up and about again. I finally explained to him that for an hour on the weekends, he needed to go upstairs and have quiet time. He could look at books or model train catalogs (I secretly call it “train porn”) and listen to some quiet music. Whatever it was, he had to be quiet. It was short-lived. It would be quiet for about fifteen minutes and then I could hear him running around or I would look up and see him peer over the staircase at me. In a moment of desperation, I decided to let him have the TV on in our bedroom during his quiet time. I had to do something so I had a chance to regroup! I must regroup!
The TV/quiet time is now getting shorter. It’s about a half hour long. Not enough time for me do anything but fold laundry and watch trashy TV but it’s better than nothing. Soon, there will be no more moments of afternoon quiet and I must accept this.
So, with that I say, “Goodbye to you!” my dear Charlie’s nap. You were so precious when you were here and I will always miss you. I know time will heal the pain and I will go on without you, but it will be a long road ahead. Godspeed, nap. Godspeed.
At least Charlie goes to bed somewhat early. There’s always that.
Photo via Flickr.