11. No sense of humor. If you tick them off, sheesh…..
Here are some of my favorite tweets from the doulapocalypse. We have a few categories:
The Warriors:
The Scrappy:
And, last but not least, The Confused:
Christa T. Palmer is a mother of 2 small children who lives in Colorado. She worked in the corporate world for more than a decade, but she was laid off the day after returning from maternity leave. Since then, she has worked as a freelance writer.
<img src="http://www.reusableart.com/d/1553-2/naughty-kids-10.jpg">
I think I may start describing things I don't like as "a little offense" from now on.
I'm a little offense by that.
Perhaps you should have thought of that before you decided to be an unfunny jerk/eat assholios.
What can I say? I don't know anything about anything, especially parody.
I asked one woman what she thought the purpose of parody was. Guess what her answer was. Just guess.
I'm going to guess she was unfamiliar with the word "parody".
She said the purpose of a parody was to read like a parody.
Wut?
Assholios.
That one made me laugh a little bit.
It made me laugh a lot. I asked her if it was like conrholios.
My favourite version of any slam like this is from That '70s Show. Eric says to Donna: "God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?"
I bet they don't sell those at Trader Joe's!
But I bet they do sell them at Hole Foods.
If it's pretentious, overpriced, and a fad? You better believe Whole Paycheck has it!
The chocolate ones are delicious.
Being a bitter, assholey bitch doesn't mean you're wrong.
PATCHOULI RAGE!
I love dealing with hippies because if you make them the least bit mad, they go completely over the top.
The world is a better place for your love.
If I don't poke hives, who is gonna?
I have had an extremely good time although I'm getting bored with it. I'm looking for my next hive.
You could subtitle yourself "the calamine lotion of the parenting blogosphere".
I keep getting accused of being bitter about my births. My kids are perfect. Why would I be bitter?
"being bitter about my births." kinda rolls off the tongue really.
WIN!
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a whole new crew of crazy doula bitches chimes in.
This is the problem with hippies. They take themselves way too seriously. Also, patchouli.
This whole kerfuffle reminds me of when I was a young nurse and wanted to work in OB and eventually become a midwife. I spent (not even) a year working as an OB nurse and ran the hell away from all this craziness. Seriously, you are all crazy – the nurses are crazy, the mothers are crazy, the doulas are crazy, the doctors are crazy, the dads are crazy, the lactation consultants are super crazy, the extended family is crazy. Just a big crazy clusterfuck.
I experience far less crazy dealing with medical providers and families taking care of people at the end of life, than at the beginning. Hell, I experienced less crazy working at an abortion clinic and walking past protesters every day. And that is saying more than you can ever know.
That's exactly what my nurse-friend said. She works in the goddamn EMERGENCY ROOM over working in maternity.
"The moms are so fucking annoying" were her exact words.
My nurse friend love<,/I> it in the OR. Patients are out cold. No whining. People practically neeever die on the table. Even putting up with the surgeons' egos can't sway her.
Listen to BBK, she knows crazy well.