My boys are 11 and 8. So you would think I might have a few more years before “The Talk”. Looking back on my own childhood I wasn’t even interested in boys until at least 13. Things are changing though, with television what it is, every song on the radio alluding to sex, and social media, kids are learning about sex a lot earlier then we ever did. A lot earlier then we as parents are comfortable with.
I am not ready for “The Talk”. I’m not. I’m just not.
If I listen to the media, I am to believe that girls are getting pregnant as young as 12. My son is 11. Uncomfortable or not, this talk is probably long overdue, and inevitable.
When I see the looks that my boys share across the room when they overhear a joke, a look that says, “I get it,” and they laugh, I cringe inside.
Oh my god. I’m going to have to have this talk.
I don’t want to.
The exchanged looks, the smirks, the giggles. My boys are getting innuendos. They understand undertones.They know about sex!
While I cower away from this topic and would rather hide the boys away in a closet somewhere until their 21st birthdays, I know it is inescapable. Not talking about it all would be worse than talking about it. I’d rather squirm on the couch next to my husband while broaching the subject. I’d rather just go away than sit on the couch next to my husband and hear that one of our boys has an STD or is going to be a father.
It is on us, as the parents, to teach them about safe sex. I don’t want them to have sex. Ever. I don’t want them to even know what sex is. But they do. They do know, and they are going to, and if we avoid the topic and don’t discuss it, they are going to do it without any education or morals from their parents.
A bumbling teenager having sex without protection is far more dangerous than an awkward teen armed with the education and knowledge of condoms who never uses it. They might use it, they might not, but that’s a really tough gamble.
It’s not a gamble I am willing to take. I’ve had 11 years to prepare for this (I thought I would have so much more time) and I’m not ready. I won’t be ready when they’re 16, or 20, or even 30. I much prefer to have this talk now when I am not ready, than later when I am not ready and there are already ramifications.
Soon, we will have “The Talk” and I hope that my boys will leave the conversation able to set aside their mortification and embarrassment, and take away some safe sex education. I hope they don’t use it. I hope they choose to wait a long, long time until engaging in sexual activity.
But I will sleep well at night knowing that I have done all I can as a Mother and if they do choose not to wait, at least they are educated and will know how to protect themselves.
That aside, maybe I can morally guilt them into never having sex. Or scare them. I wonder what horror stories about sex I can come up with . . .
I am in a lifelong love affair with Vampires, Zombies, Halloween, and all things Horror.
I live to write, and write to live. One day, I hope to finish a book. Until then, I blog, blog, and blog some more. I blog anonymously. I enjoy my Secret Identity because it’s like not having consequences for what I write.
I have silly names for the people in my life that make appearances in my blog. Most importantly: The Artist (husband), Tiny Bard (11 year old son) and Tiny Artist (8 year old son), and Crazy Girl (she’s like, my bff, dudes).
I also love to read. Mostly Stephen King, Dean Koontz and the Sookie Stackhouse and Anita Blake novels.
I am not domestic. I hate to clean, cook, and bake. I’m like the antithesis to motherhood.
Your mistake was that you waited too long.
I had "the talk" with my ten month old just last week. He just sat there and listened while soothing his gums with a rice cracker, and now I'm covered.
Boom! Another item crossed off of the responsibility checklist!
Well played.
Damn, I missed my chance! Why didn't I think of it earlier?
I thought your comments were awesome.
How are you doing? I've been thinking about you.
Damn it. Maybe I'll just make their dad do it then.
My 10 year old son asked me about boners and the missionary position. I told him matter of factly and he was amused. What didn't amuse me was that I found out he asked his father the same question the night before, but my husband told him to ask me tomorrow.
Shakes fist!
I'm going to have him talk to the girls about birth control as retribution.
This was great! I feel the exact same way.
"If you think it's time to have The Talk, you're 2 years too late," advice from a local radio host.