You wouldn’t know it to look at my credit card statements, but this year Mr. and Mr. Claus were on a budget. The reason: Procreation isn’t cheap when you don’t bring a uterus to the table. I’ve been a little “Bah Humbug” since about late November. The truth is that adoption and surrogacy aren’t cheap you guys, and I’m bummed over the lack of progress we’ve made on our savings. I keep reminding my straight guy friends that they are “on the supply side of babies” and should get out there and make something happen!
I blame the television. If you check out “Modern Family” and “The New Normal” you’d get the idea that gays everywhere can just drop by the Baby’s-R-Us and bring one home with them. These characters are doctors, lawyers and movie executives who probably can just swing by the baby store. I don’t make that kind of scratch and it’s starting to get me down.
Don’t get me wrong, we live well and within our means. We are not house-poor, but we do dine out fairly frequently. Then there’s the cable bill at around $200/month. (god, and for what?!) We have two cars and neither are paid off. This is one of my pain points. I repeat this mantra to my husband regularly: “Don’t you DARE buy a new car.” along with another favorite: “You know we really don’t NEED cable TV.” Thankfully he takes the first one to heart while he seems immune to the second. Perhaps when he sees my credit card bills this month he’ll start chanting with me. (more likely he’ll lecture me on how much I spend on people at Christmas. I might have a problem.)
For now though we are adding what we can to our savings and hopefully Christmas won’t set us back too far. Some of our friends may not realize that since we’ve decided not to go through foster care our expenses are no longer paid by the state and thus our plans are on hold until we can muster up about $18k. Possibly more – Yikes!
NSDS was born and raised in Dallas, Tx. He takes the phrase Flaming Liberal very srsly but nothing else. He and and his Husband live inside Dallas city limits and are working to expand their family though adoption. A nine year age gap with his older siblings left NSDS an only child since the age of six. Diagnosed with ADD in the early 1980′s, he was a founding member of the Ritalin generation.
It's been really fun trying to answer the question "What do you want for Christmas" this year. Ugh, I hate being in a state of want. This has totally blocked my creative side when it comes to writing.
I have found that when something is on your mind, that is just about the only thing you CAN write about. I'm sorry – but I think it's good that you are getting this message out there. I wish I could help. I really do.
Each time I see that you've posted, I hope that its the news we've all been waiting for. Saving sucks when the goal is lofty and nothing seems to get you any closer to it. But then one day you wake up and you've accumulated more than you thought and it all starts feeling real.
But you are being realistic and working towards a wonderful goal. And hopefully one day soon, you'll post a birth announcement and we can all celebrate your parenthood.
Hi NSDS! I can only imagine how frustrating this process is. My husband and I moved to DC this summer for work and had to cut way way back to make up the difference (we were living in Biloxi MS). It is tough to keep each other on track. Our great waste was new gadgets for my techie husband and eating out.
The sad thing is if you asked me what we've given up for this savings goal, the answer is "not much." Mr. NSDS is convinced that I "make plenty of money." and he refused to do anything drastic like try to live on 1 car for a year or cancel the Cable TV.
My sister and her husband are working on adopting any girl-baby in America that isn't a crack baby and they were told by their lawyer that it will cost them around 40 grand. WTFFFFF?????????
This might be a dumb question, but — why is it so expensive? Legal fees? $18k is obscene (not to mention $40k if you're bobgeorge's friend).