As a parent of two young children, I’ve learned to stand up for my children. This has brought up lots of memories of times when my parents stood up for me as a child and even as an adult. They were just moments that reminded me that my parents are funny, great and badassed.
Here’s my list:
- After summer break my third grade teacher asked each student to tell a story about what they did over the summer. I told them how I ate at a restaurant shaped as a duck. My teacher laughingly corrected me – “Dear, you must mean you ate duck.” I insisted that it was a duck-shaped restaurant. I ended up in the timeout corner for lying. My mother was incensed! She showed up the next day with a picture of that duck restaurant and my teacher showed the whole class the picture and apologized to me!
- My 7th grade social studies teacher sent home a contract that he expected each parent to sign. It included attendance and homework expectations but ended with the phrase – “if I say jump, the only thing your son or daughter should say is how high.” My mother wrote “my daughter does not jump for anyone!” And she refused to sign it. I was mortified at the time but in retrospect, it was awesome.
- Fast forward 15 years to my graduation from law school, where the school – UNC at Chapel Hill – asked the audience to remain quiet until all the names were called and everyone walked across the stage. My family could not contain themselves. It was a hot day so each person got a fan. My parents (and grandparents) wrote my name across their fans so when they put them together it said “coffeeclutches rocks!” They stood up cheering as I walked across the stage. It was HILARIOUS. Ok, this one strays from the theme but its my favorite.
- After being mugged in DC, my dad called the detectives investigating the case so often they called me and asked me to tell him to stop! After I told my dad this, he responded “That’s nice.” And kept calling until they solved the crime. I met up with the detectives once more afterward and they laughed about my dad and how he drove them crazy! As a retired NYPD officer, my dad knew that the squeaky wheel got the attention.
I think back to these times when I feel intimidated by a situation or person and it gives me motivation to stand up for my kids. My parents were not the type of parents to blame others if we kids were at fault. That’s why these memories are so special to me. They didn’t always swoop in. But when they did, they did it with style!
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I am a multitasking mother of two who happens to like coffee.
Your parents sound like wonderful people!
When I was younger I belonged to a professional children's choir and the conductor was a bit on the strict/crazy side. One day at rehearsal I became so stressed by how much she was yelling at everyone that when my parents came to pick me up I was in tears.
That was enough for my parents, they ripped her a new one in front of everyone saying that no child should be reduced to this for an extra curricular activity. You could tell from the look on the other parent's faces that they had all been thinking the same thing, but didn't say anything. I was so proud of them on that day.
That's awesome of your parents!
The conductor sounds like that crazy lady from Dance Moms!
Love your post! Your parents rock and I find this especially edifying today. I received a call that my 11y.o. daughter needs to come in for what is essentially detention for having too many absences. These are excused absences, mind you, primarily from pneumonia and flu-like psychovirus with the latter being a 16 day illness. I have notes from doctors, we have been in constant contact with the school. My daughter has a 98 average and completed all makeup work within 48 hours of returning. And they want her to sit after school and do what? I'm so on this. (My youngest is home today with Norovirus, so, winning? I can't.)
I love your name! Two things I love.
That school is acting crazy. I hate when schools or daycares act arbitrarily and mindlessly. She was sick! She's caught up! Why punish a good student who was home sick? To waste her time? It makes no sense!
I am so sorry about the endless bugs. These kids pick up every little bug. I want to coat the kids in Purell but I know even that wouldn't stop them.
I would seriously appreciate this school remembering they know my family. I did notice other schools refer to the make-up time as 'detention,' so, there ya go.
I have the house divided into safe/unsafe areas and everything smells like Lysol. This is the perfect opportunity to whisper in his ear, "You know, this is exactly what drinking too much alcohol feels like."
"Safe/unsafe" LOL
Once upon a time, a teacher grabbed my arm and left a mark after I spilled my milk. I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. Today, she'd probably be fired but back in the magical 70s, it wasn't a big deal. That is, until Mildred, my mom found out.
She handed that teacher her ass. Almost literally. She made her come up to me and personally apologize. I knew my mom had my back.
Nobody better lay a finger on Mildred's baby if they know what's good for them!! That's hilarious.
I believe it was my third grade year when I found myself riding the bus with my very own bully. She was at least three grades older than me and found new and varied ways to insult my clothes, my hair, my very existence. I had finally broken down and told my mother when we found ourselves having lunch at the same restaurant as my bully and her family. My mother walked straight up to their table and told the whole family (grandma included) the sordid details. The color drained from my bully's face as her family apologized for her behavior and she never bothered me again.
That's so great. And you learned a valuable lesson early – best to address things head on. And bullies are usually wimps when someone bigger is around.
I think in all the (justified) talk about overparenting and helicopter parenting, it's easy to forget that there are occasions when it's more than okay for a parent to be a "badass." Those times should come few and far between — otherwise, a kid doesn't learn how to handle life's battles on their own — and then when they happen, these interventions can teach kids a perfect lesson about what's important. My parents mostly left me to deal with my own problems at school too — I remember I came once in elementary school and told her that a buddy was threatening to fight me and my mom said, "Wow, that stinks" and went back to her reading — but sometimes they got "badass." My second grade teacher screamed at me and threatened me with paddling for something I hadn't done, and my mom lost it. Great post and great lesson: pick your battles and go big.
Great story! I love all these stories! Speaking of over parenting, I will never forget the moment I realized that I was veering close. My husband took video of our son's first birthday party and I was hovering over him the whole time. I mean I literally blocked the screen at times. I tried to ease off after that especially in safe environments.
Coffee, this is so full of win! Your parents are funny, great, badasses, indeed. And what a wonderful legacy they created for you. Now you carry on that same tradition of support in a funny, great badass way, too, I'm sure.
In this age of "helicopter parenting", or the sad flipside, neglect, of so many kids, you have a great foundation from wich to be fair and supportive.
Children learn what they live. What fabulous role models you have had (and that your children now have!).
Thanks Cosmie! I really like that line "children learn what they live." This makes my parents all the more special. Both had very poor role models for parents. And while they weren't perfect, I always knew I was loved even after their divorce.
Aw, thanks. I can't take credit for that line, but I do believe it.
And I'm so glad to hear that you had a very positive experience despite your parents' divorce. It does make them all the more special in that they were great "co-parents" in spite of splitting and having a poor experience in their own youth. Research tells us that as long as children of divorce feel secure and loved by each of their parents, they will do better over the long run than children who grow up in a conflictual "intact" family. So many people stay together "for the sake of the kids", but it's not always the best choice.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful post! And, Omg…the duck restaurant is priceless!
It's a great feeling to know your parents have your back! I hope to be this kind of parent.
I know you are TH! You can't teach astronomy and not be the coolest mom ever.
D'awww! Thanks, CC. At least my boys love hearing about the stars and space.
So where is this Duck restaurant? I wanna go.
It's near Hampton Bay in Suffolk County. It's now a gift shop – the county bought it. Back in the day it was a lot of fun. If my memory serves, you ordered your food in the duck and there were picnic tables right outside. I guess I was fibbing when I said I ate inside a duck restaurant!
I smell a field trip coming on.