You know the tantrums I’m talking about: the ones that shake the house. They come out of nowhere and ruin everyone’s life for at least 2 hours. All kinds of things cross my mind, including:
- Could I sell this child on eBay? (Not likely. Who would take her?)
- If I ran away from home, how long would it take them to find me?
- Should I warn pregnant women now or should I let them bask in sweet naiveté?
- Why on earth do they call it “the terrible twos” when 3 and 4 can be just as bad? Sheesh, at least you can pick them up and put them in their crib when they’re two.
- Is it illegal to put the child on the back porch like a pesky dog?
- I wonder if I could con their grandmother into having them over…..
- How did I lose control so quickly?
- They could market a pain reliever just for moments like this and it would sell like hotcakes.
- Why do I judge women who’ve abandoned their families? They seem quite understandable.
- WHAT WAS I THINKING? I’ll tell you what I was thinking: cute, happy Gerber babies. Not this mess.
Photo via Flickr.