You know the tantrums I’m talking about: the ones that shake the house. They come out of nowhere and ruin everyone’s life for at least 2 hours. All kinds of things cross my mind, including:
- Could I sell this child on eBay? (Not likely. Who would take her?)
- If I ran away from home, how long would it take them to find me?
- Should I warn pregnant women now or should I let them bask in sweet naiveté?
- Why on earth do they call it “the terrible twos” when 3 and 4 can be just as bad? Sheesh, at least you can pick them up and put them in their crib when they’re two.
- Is it illegal to put the child on the back porch like a pesky dog?
- I wonder if I could con their grandmother into having them over…..
- How did I lose control so quickly?
- They could market a pain reliever just for moments like this and it would sell like hotcakes.
- Why do I judge women who’ve abandoned their families? They seem quite understandable.
- WHAT WAS I THINKING? I’ll tell you what I was thinking: cute, happy Gerber babies. Not this mess.
Photo via Flickr.
Christa T. Palmer is a mother of 2 small children who lives in Colorado. She worked in the corporate world for more than a decade, but she was laid off the day after returning from maternity leave. Since then, she has worked as a freelance writer.
If I start drinking now who's going to take them to the bus stop?
Right? Some mornings, I want to run away from home.
If I run away from home, will they be that bitter about it, really? I mean, they drove me away.
I remember thinking "Dear God, where's the OFF switch?"
I usually have one of two thoughts.
1) Must not laugh. Must not laugh. Their mother told me she doesn't appreciate it when I laugh at the tantrums.
2) What if I get down on the floor with them and cry just as loudly? What will they do?
Yes, warn people.
Not only do hear or see kids throwing those tantrums all the time–I remember my own and cringe.
Sometimes the world bears down on you when you're new to EMOTIONZ and have to deal with them outside the womb. (That's how it felt at least–it was still asshole behavior, but anyone that thinks being a kid is all puppies and roses probably doesn't remember rites of passage like getting lost someplace unfamiliar before you know how to ask for help, or the first time your best friend treats you like crap on the playground.)
It's so true that it's important to warn people – also to empathize when their kids are losing it. I remember when my son lost his mind in public and a woman came up to me and said "You're doing a great job. He's just little." That was so helpful – to know I wasn't the first mom to deal with it and certainly wouldn't be the last.