You know the tantrums I’m talking about: the ones that shake the house. They come out of nowhere and ruin everyone’s life for at least 2 hours. All kinds of things cross my mind, including:

  1. Could I sell this child on eBay? (Not likely. Who would take her?)
  2. If I ran away from home, how long would it take them to find me?
  3. Should I warn pregnant women now or should I let them bask in sweet naiveté?
  4. Why on earth do they call it “the terrible twos” when 3 and 4 can be just as bad? Sheesh, at least you can pick them up and put them in their crib when they’re two.
  5. Is it illegal to put the child on the back porch like a pesky dog?
  6. I wonder if I could con their grandmother into having them over…..
  7. How did I lose control so quickly?
  8. They could market a pain reliever just for moments like this and it would sell like hotcakes.
  9. Why do I judge women who’ve abandoned their families? They seem quite understandable.
  10. WHAT WAS I THINKING? I’ll tell you what I was thinking: cute, happy Gerber babies. Not this mess.

 

Photo via Flickr.

Christa T. Palmer (265 Posts)

Christa T. Palmer is a mother of 2 small children who lives in Colorado. She worked in the corporate world for more than a decade, but she was laid off the day after returning from maternity leave. Since then, she has worked as a freelance writer.