Love relationships inevitably change over time. When you’re with a partner for a long time, you begin to appreciate different things about them There are, of course, the things that get on your nerves, but I’m not going to focus on that today. Instead, I want to talk about what you appreciated about your main squeeze before you had children and what you appreciate about them after the little ones showed up.

When I first met my husband, many of the qualities I liked about him were totally irrelevant to parenting. Some were, of course, but probably the majority were not. Here were some of the qualities I was impressed by:

  • He was a darn good-looking fellow.
  • He has a terrific sense of humor. He often makes me laugh until I cry.
  • We liked the same kind of beer.
  • He managed to work through a crises involving sudden unemployment and the death of his father. I knew this meant he could face a variety of challenges down the road.
  • He truly loved his family. The first time I went to his office, he had a picture of his nieces and nephews on the wall.

Today, we have two children, so our relationship has changed a bit, to put it mildly. I still think he’s hysterical and good looking. Our fondness for beer has taken a back seat since the hangovers are too brutal for us.

The things I appreciate now include:

  • His devotion to his children. They are his number one priority.
  • He makes coffee first thing in the morning and often brings me a cup while I’m in the shower.
  • He makes the kids giggle hysterically.
  • He misses the children when we’re away from them.
  • We can laugh at the kids together.
  • He will listen to me vent with a reasonable amount of patience.


How about you? What do you admire about your partner before and after kids?



Photo via Flickr.

Christa T. Palmer (265 Posts)

Christa T. Palmer is a mother of 2 small children who lives in Colorado. She worked in the corporate world for more than a decade, but she was laid off the day after returning from maternity leave. Since then, she has worked as a freelance writer.