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NotSoDeepSouth

An Open Letter to that Bigot Diana Medley

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A school in Indiana is considering a petition lead by this nut job to setup segregated proms for gay kids. Story by Dan Savage. Diana’s email. provided by Dan in his column, is rejecting letters so I’d like to post my reply to her here. (more…)

Reparative Therapy Conversation AKA I Almost Stabbed Her With My Fork

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Life’s funny isn’t it? I was sitting in a meeting last night and I realized that across the room from me was this chick I almost stabbed in the throat with a fork. No, she was never in any mortal peril for I have quite a bit of physical self control. What comes out of my mouth is another story. But the idea of opening her up a side mouth occurred to me later. What was it that could make me contemplate such an act? I’ll tell you – it was the suggestion of Reparative Therapy. Never a good dinner topic if you have me over. (more…)

Adoption Paperwork and Progress

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It was a mixed bag of emotions in late 2012 when I emailed our contact at the agency and said “We’re all ready to focus on our application now that we’ve returned from getting married in Massachusetts.” After a bit of a delay, (there’s always a delay, what is that?) we received a hearty congratulations but also the news that this agency has a policy requiring a one year delay after any major life change such as getting married. (more…)

Saving Money for Adoption Sucks

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You wouldn’t know it to look at my credit card statements, but this year Mr. and Mr. Claus were on a budget. The reason: Procreation isn’t cheap when you don’t bring a uterus to the table. I’ve been a little “Bah Humbug” since about late November. The truth is that adoption and surrogacy aren’t cheap you guys, and I’m bummed over the lack of progress we’ve made on our savings. I keep reminding my straight guy friends that they are “on the supply side of babies” and should get out there and make something happen! (more…)

A Review of Oddly Normal by John Schwartz

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John Schwartz has written an informative and honest record of his family’s struggle to raise their son Joseph. Joseph’s early childhood exhibited some classic signs and signals that he was both more sensitive than other boys and that he had a predilection for glitter and sparkle. Joseph began having troubles in school after kindergarten. The book follows Joseph all the way to high school and clearly documents how challenging it can be for children to grow up gay even in this post Will & Grace, Glee embracing age. (more…)

Is Laughter Nature or Nurture?

I was concerned I wouldn’t recognize Jordan during her recent performance of Oklahoma, having only met her once and having never spent any time talking to her. I have however spent a good deal of time with her father my friend and yoga instructor. I’ve driven with him to Arkansas for a weekend retreat on the eve of my wedding. I’ve spent four or five hours a week with him laughing and enjoying the unity and kinship that yoga can foster. Still, I didn’t expect the moment when, while delivering a campy rendition of the role of Gurdy, Jordan let out a horrible – almost honking – laughter. I knew immediately where I had heard it before. (more…)

An Interview With an Adoptee at Age 35

At the age of 35, two friends take a look at adoption. One of them looking forward and the other one looking back. Commenter EveryAlchemist has joined us and agreed to allow me to post our “conversation” about his origins as an adopted child.

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Will Grandpa Accept an Adopted Grandchild?

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Grandparenthood comes as a shock

Growing up I knew that I was my Dad’s only hope to carry on our family name. Genealogy is very important to my dad. He’s spent countless hours tracing our lineage and this well before ancestry.com came along. My dad knows that a card catalog isn’t just trendy living room furniture. He’s also known since I came out (again) at 20 that he wasn’t going to have any grandchildren by me. (more…)

Another Federal Appeals Court Decides In Favor of Gay Marriage

It is not always easy to sit here in Texas, watching as the rest of the world makes civil progress while we here in the Lone Star State have Rick Perry. Still, there are moments when a headline gives me hope for our collective future. So the question is, does this mornings news that a Federal appeals court in New York ruling against the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) mean anything here in Texas? (more…)

It Seems We Will Be Needing One of Those Awful Adoption Profiles

20121017-221042.jpgRecently things have taken a shift in direction. We were working on becoming foster parents, but more and more my husband has been talking about bringing home a baby. Now he’s talking about traditional or open adoption. The cost bothers me, but I can deal with it. What really irks me is thinking that I’m going to have to create one of those cookie cutter dear birth-mother websites.

Now I’m not knocking open adoption, I rather like the idea actually. I think it’s amazing to consider that somewhere there is, in theory, a girl or a woman that will one day be a part of my family. I just think that’s awesome. The universe or God or whatever has us right now, on some path that will eventually cross and then link up. Forevs. But let me not get too deep into 42 and all that. (more…)

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